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Your Favourite TV Show Is Probably Cancelled

Community cancelled

-It was a TV network bloodbath this afternoon, with NBC and ABC cancelling a bunch of shows, including Crisis, Believe, Super Fun Night, Revolution (the third JJ Abrams show to be axed this week) and a couple I actually watch: Trophy Wife, Suburgatory and — most heartbreakingly of all — Community. Now we’ll never know who the Ass Bandit is!

-Just in case you thought we were now stuck in the darkest timeline, here’s a good article on why we were lucky to get five seasons of Community in the first place.

-In really surprising news, Hannibal survived (likely because of its international funding deal, proving ratings don’t always matter when it comes to renewals).

-There’s still no word on Parenthood’s fate, and fans are freaking out. (My bet is it’s coming back, especially since NBC just wiped out its entire slate of dramas. Pay cuts are reportedly on the table though, so it all depends on if the cast is willing to play ball.)

-In happier TV news, Elisha Cuthbert, Krysten Ritter, David Duchovny, Casey Wilson and Kate Walsh are all returning to TV.

Justin Bieber has passive-aggressively responded to Seth Rogen‘s repeated slamming of him. It hasn’t stopped Seth at all.

-Sad news: The View’s Sherri Shepherd is divorcing husband Lamar Sally.

James Franco told Letterman he shared that naked selfie on Instagram because “it’s what the people want.” What people? I’m gonna need names!

-Also, James Franco may play Tommy Wiseau in movie about the making of The Room…which actually makes a lot of sense.

-Uh oh. Is Hilary Duff a Scientologist?

Lupita Nyong’o‘s photos from inside the White House are so goddamn adorable!

Rebel Wilson has been cast as the lead in a Private Benjamin remake, which I don’t hate.

-I keep forgetting that Paul Wesley is dating his former Vampire Diaries costar, Phoebe Tonkin. I’ve been side-eyeing her ever since she had a hissy fit over the fact that people were saying mean things about her character on The Originals on Tumblr. Maybe stop Googling your name, lady.

-The Breaking Bad spin-off just added three new cast members. So this is really happening, huh?

Nicole Kidman has responded to the royal family’s outrage over her Grace Kelly biopic.

Conan O’Brien gently eviscerated Sharon Stone’s new movie to her face on his show last night.

-I have got nothing but love for Angelina Jolie‘s crow-print dress. It’s much better than the jumpsuit-y thing she wore earlier.

-Meanwhile, here’s a new clip from Maleficent.

Lea Michele and Glee creator Ryan Murphy are in talks to team up for a real Funny Girl Broadway revival.

Jason Priestley‘s book tour is the gift that keeps on giving. Now he’s telling stories about former roommate Brad Pitt and a penis pump.

Lady Gaga took a jab at Katy Perry for having green hair and riding a fake horse on tour.

Sofia Coppola‘s The Little Mermaid isn’t even out yet, and already FunnyorDie is spoofing it.

Miranda Lambert is laughing off the latest rumours of a divorce from Blake Shelton.

-Here’s a clip from Hilary Swank and Tommy Lee Jones‘ western The Homesman, which is heading to Cannes.

Mila Kunis talked about her pregnancy on Ellen.

Jon Hamm has a really, really big head.

Steve Carrell and Jennifer Garner play frazzled parents in the trailer for Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Our First Look At Catching Fire’s Finnick

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Sam Claflin in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Lionsgate)

-With the exception of that sideways shot released a while ago, we haven’t gotten a good eyeful of the guy who’s playing Finnick in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. But now Lionsgate has released a better photo of him…and it’s not bad. He’s no Jesse Williams, but he’ll do.

Jennifer Lawrence spent a portion of Comic Con’s Catching Fire panel talking about snot messing up her kissing scenes with Josh Hutcherson, so that’s pretty boss.

-In other Comic Con news, the always awesome Bryan Cranston wore a Walter White mask and wandered around chatting with fans, who had no idea he was the real deal.

This is the best photo that’s ever come out of Comic Con. Anyone else kind of feel like this sums up Tom Cruise‘s entire life these days?

-Also at Comic Con, Zoe Saldana tried to make a denim jumpsuit work, failed miserably.

Dan Harmon talked about Donald Glover leaving Community by saying “We’re gonna make eye contact with the tragedy that is his departure, and we’re gonna turn it into a story and we’re gonna feel the feels and laugh the laughs and deal with it.”

Kate Middleton just had a baby boy. Twitter is overheating as we speak.

-I’ve got mixed feelings about this: THR is reporting that Cory Monteith‘s final film will debut at TIFF.

-Meanwhile, Glee creator Ryan Murphy gave a few interviews over the weekend on the fate of Monteith’s character Finn, saying “The right thing to do…is to have that character pass.”

-This might be the thinnest I’ve ever seen Colin Firth. I don’t like it.

O.J. Simpson wants to team up with Charlie Sheen? No no no no no no no no no no!

Florence Welch showed up at a random cover band’s party, got drunk, and sang “Get Lucky.” Turns out she doesn’t know all the words either.

Helen Mirren doesn’t have a daughter, but if she did she’d give her the most awesome advice ever.

Miley Cyrus thinks it’s adorabs that people refuse to believe she’s singing about ecstasy in “We Can’t Stop.”

Lindsay Lohan‘s mother has been banned from participating in her rehab treatment after a drunken phone call a few weeks ago. Sounds about right.

-Friends are reportedly worried that Emma Roberts is following in Lindsay’s footsteps.

-Hugs from Beyonce should carry medical warnings. One fan fainted following her warm mid-concert embrace.

-In case you missed it, Full House‘s Jesse and the Rippers reunited on Fallon Friday night. Lori Loughlin showed up at the end for a smooch, because those two just can’t stop trolling us.

-A new trailer for The Walking Dead‘s season four has landed. Wait, is that D’Angelo from The Wire?! Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in…

George Clooney and Stacy Keibler Split

Stacy-Keibler-George-Clooney
-We knew it was only a matter of time seeing as they haven’t been photographed together since March, but People is reporting that George Clooney and Stacy Keibler are dunzo. At least he let it seem like she was the one who did the leaving (using the ol’ “she wants to have children and a family someday!” chestnut). Plus, he waited to announce it until she landed a new TV show and magazine cover.

-A condo building close to my office is making fun of Kim Kardashian, which makes my walk to work very enjoyable.

-A new Sorkinism supercut has surfaced, showing just how much Aaron Sorkin plagiarizes himself. I still don’t mean what “Six to five and pick ’em” means, even though it’s been mentioned in all his shows.

-Dammit. Donald Glover will spend less time on Community next season, appearing in only 5 of 13 episodes to focus on his music career. Those 5 episodes better feature a hell of a lot of Crying Troy!

Taylor Swift appears to be dating Matthew Gray Gubler from Criminal Minds, judging by their patriotic face paint.

-This infographic titled “Does Amanda Bynes Think You’re Ugly?” is spot on.

-Do you want to buy Halle Berry‘s old nail clippers? Then this is your lucky day!

-It’s adorable that Kris Jenner is pretending Kanye West will let her debut baby North on her new talk show!

-The best thing you’ll see all day: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper snap selfies at Wimbledon. (These GIFs also slay me.)

-Well, this is terrible. 50 Cent allegedly sent some horrible texts to his teenage son before his domestic assault charge, saying things like “Tell your mother she won. She has you and ill [sic] make another. I will have nothing to do with you. Don’t text me ever again.”

-At 53, Heather Locklear looks better in a bikini that the rest of us mere mortals could ever hope to.

Taylor Lautner reportedly got all handsy with a pretty brunette during a 4th of July bash.

-Good news: Jenna Dewan actually looks like a normal human being who just had a baby.

-Remember that 67-year-old woman who sat next to Jay-Z on the subway and asked if he was famous? She just gave his new album a glowing review.

-Well this came out of nowhere: Vampire Diaries star Zach Roerig just revealed that he has a secret daughter that he’s fighting for custody of with his jailed ex-girlfriend.

-This story about all the hoops a reporter had to go through to interview Selena Gomez is hilarious. (Man, I don’t miss having to write articles like this, where you have to talk about the interview’s surroundings because the person you’re talking to gives you absolutely nothing.)

-I cannot stop staring at the new poster for Oldboy. Josh Brolin really needs to start demanding final approval on these things…

Lauryn Hill has entered prison to begin serving  her 3-month sentence.

-I love that Matt Damon calls his wife “a civilian.”

Matthew Knowles married a former model, but neither Beyonce or Solange showed up to the ceremony.

-I really liked this examination of the best box office performers of 2013 so far. That’s why I’m not quite ready to declare The Lone Ranger a flop until I see the overseas numbers. Halle Berry‘s The Call actually made money, and Will Smith‘s After Earth continues to have legs outside of North America.

-Celebrities continue to push Instagram’s rules. Rihanna posted underboob, Heidi Klum shared a peek at her bare bum.

Zooey Deschanel caused a stir this weekend while performing with She & Him in Toronto by demanding that no one snap photos with their phones. Because a famous actress should totally choose a festival stage when she wants to hide.

Michael Lohan says daughter Lindsay once OD’d on cocaine when she was just 18.

-London just erected the world’s best statue of Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice. Actually, scratch that. This is the world’s best statue, full stop.

-In related news, the first trailer for Austenland has landed. Ooooh boy, I’m going to watch that crap out this movie. I loved the book so much that I think I destroyed my copy by hugging it too tightly.